Adoption Class # 3

This was about the Open Adoption and the concept of How open you want to be.
This was taught by my family advocate Missy, so I was bias already to how much fun it was going to be.  But it also points out the reality Vs the perception of Open Adoption.

Come on, be real.  When you hear "Open Adoption" you think:

1.  Lifetime Movie
2.  Woman hiding in bushes to steal kid away
3.  Woman/Man changing mind and ripping kid away -- big court battle ensues
4.  Stalking ??

Basically craziness, but this is the false advertising, glamorous TV movie version that people know because it sells movie time. 

Lets Talk about Reality :

1.  This is an agency that offers assistance to Birth Mothers
( food, money, prenatal care, placement assistance )
Birth mothers come to Adoption Star , they MAKE this choice.... this is not mandated or forced. 

2.  Because this is a CHOICE, and a pretty huge one, most Birth Mothers/Fathers do not re-nig on their decision.  They want what is best for their child.  They are just as scared as you are.

3.  They are afraid of us "finding/stalking" them as we are of the opposite. 

4.  In NYS once a Birth mother signs her surrender of parental rights, after 30 days the surrender is permanent- no matter what.  Regardless what the TV movies show.
Most times if a Parent chooses to "parent" they decide this before the surrender is signed or before the delivery so a placement is never actually made. 


Now that we all got that out of our system....... do we feel any better ?

Dan and I are pro what is in the best interest of the child.
Open adoption is good because you have complete access to the Birth parent(s) for things like Medical information, future siblings, and anything else that may arise that you do not know now, but would need to know in the future.  Plus their "wonder and mystery" of where the child came from is gone.  They know. 

I hope this puts some people's minds at ease
Then again, it really only needs to be Dan and I whose mind is at ease.