I'm Fat

Big Bombshell there in the title folks !!
Who doesn't know this about me ??

The thing is for as long as I can remember I have been ok with being overweight.
I mean don't get me wrong.  I would LOVE to be skinny, but I have never been so I never knew what I was missing.

I always had great friends, I always had boyfriends, I always had a great relationship with my family.  No one ever made me feel bad about myself for being heavy.
With the exception of a few nasty Boys in the 6th-8th grade and of course my Physicians as I got older into my 20's ( like age 25- 30 )

I never "wanted" to be anyone other than me.
I liked being me.  I have a great life.

Yes my life has been hard recently, but for the most part I would not change a thing.
We all have struggles, and I have been blessed that my struggles have been few and Far between. 

Now I have a health issue that REQUIRES me to get healthy, skinny, whatever you want to call it.  My kidneys need to have the weight off of them so they will function better.  If I lose the weight by Blood Pressure will be better,  then I will spill less protein and my kidneys can hopefully return to normal.

Nothing prior to this has ever made me want to lose weight.  Nothing has motivated me, Not the constant ( but loving ) nagging from my mom, the Physicians, or anyone else.  Not my Fathers Kidney issue ( that would never happen to me I thought ) Not even the loss of my son.  ( cause that's not my fault -- I didn't lose him because I was fat )

But In hindsight, This is all my fault.  I have been this happy fat person my whole life, and I have loved my life.  But now being happy and fat has caused me undue stress on my Kidneys.  They indirectly caused me to lose my son ( no I do not blame myself don't worry -- but I know that this part could have been avoided ) My Father is a Kidney transplant patient due to UNTREATED HYPERTENSION !!! HELLO Jamie ?? Wake up call much ??? 

So, I get it, now.  And I hope its not too late.  I am 32, and just starting to realize that I can take back my life.  I can be happy and healthy.  ( and I do not have to be fat )
Fat doesn't have to be..........

I can CHOOSE to make a change !

I going to make the change
I am the change !

My mom would be so proud of me if she read this ( Mom, someone make you read this ) I want to be around for my future children I plan to adopt.  And their children someday.  Dan and I have a lot more years to spend together ( sorry Dan )

I get it now.  And I am going to do something about it.