5 Weeks Post OP

Sunday was 5 weeks Post OP !!

I am down a total of 45 pounds now.  And its still freaking crazy to me.  It blows my mind.  I have a follow up appointment with the surgeon Friday, so they can check my progress.  But I am finally starting to believe that I am going to be a healthier person. 

Granted when people tell me that they are proud of me I tell them not to be, I had to cut out 2/3 of my stomach.  Please do not be proud of that !  It was so extreme,  nothing else I was doing was working.  I had to be forced.  But it clearly was for the better !!
I feel better, look better, my BP is back down to normal, hopefully at all my follow up appts this summer I can get off some meds !!

But the way I feel has changed.  I actually wore a skirt and shirt to church Sat because I felt like it looked good, not because I was required too.  I haven't dressed up EVER just because it felt nice. 
This is how I know that things are really changing.  Again, my rings are looser, and yes my towel fits around my body now.  But this was a big one for me.  I am so used to buying big beautiful clothes because when I was 16, it was NOT socially acceptable to be FAT.  Fashion Bug carried Moo Moos. 
Now you have Layne Bryant, Torrid, Fashion Bug with better clothes, Catherine's.  Even Prom Dresses and wedding dresses go to size 32.  My mom had my Prom dresses made for me in 1996 because a size 16 was no where to be found in JCPennys or Macy's etc......

Don't get me wrong, I am not converting to a " oh it feels so good to be skinny girl" I am far from there.  But society makes it OK to be heavy, and ULTRA heavy at that, cause I was.  But I am starting to realize that for me, sometimes its better to be healthy, and still a little heavy. 

So I am getting off my soap box. 

So here are some before and after pics, my surgery date was 5/17/2012.  The before pics are from April 2012.  The after is from This weekend 6/23/2012.


                                                                                 April 6th

                                                                          April 1st

                                                                       June 23rd

Sorry to be Gone so Long

Well I was supposed to be on vacation this past week 6/16-6/23 but of course as Murphy's Law would have it, things happen. 

Unfortunately, Dans Grandmother who was very sick passed away on Fathers Day. 
This already being a hard day for Dan ( our first Fathers Day without Caleb )
Last year I was blissfully pregnant, and this year not only does Dan not have his son, but now he lost his last remaining grandparent as well. 

We were also on vacation at the beach, so this was supposed to be a happy time, but not so much. 
We had a great day planned, I hid his gift in the car ( Amazon Kindle Fire ) , we had a great steak cookout planned for my family to come up and swim and eat. 
And this did happen but with a somber undertone. 

So Fathers Day was a bit rough this year.  Of course our hope is next year we will have our adopted child with us and this will all be a memory. 

Grandma was a classy lady though, she mentioned our son Caleb in the obit, which was pre-written and it brought tears to both our eyes. 

RIP Grandma, class all the way to the end. 

4 weeks Post OP !!

Holy CoW !!!
Hard to believe that it's been a month !!
Where has the time gone ?

Well drum roll please............

I am down a total of : 36.5 pounds today.

That seems absolutely freaking crazy to me.  I have never lost this much weight, nor ever kept off this much weight.  Now I know its only been a month, so I have to pace myself.  I know that the first month is the Rapid Weight loss month. 

Pretty soon I will have to exercise, and I will be able to eat more.  I think that's my most common question after how much have I lost.  Is how much can I eat ?
Not much and not alot at the same time.  But this was what I signed up for.
About 3oz at any given time.  Most things seem to be ok, No no's right now are caffeine, pop, and bread ( cause it takes up too much room in my tummy )
The goal is to get to about 7oz at a meal. ( in about 6-8 months )

I eat about every two hours, a snack of protein ( usually cheese, handful of nuts or some Greek yogurt )

A basic meal is about 1oz piece of protein and some vegetables.  ( some = 6 green beans, or 2 pieces of broccoli )

I have NO craving for Junk Food.  Its kinda nice,  and when I want something crunchy, nuts or microwave popcorn is ok. 

So that's my life so far !!

Back to Reality - Work

So it took me 1 day and 20 mins to be annoyed to be back at work and make me wish I was home on DBL again.  That sure didn't take long !!
The work environment is not one of fostering growth and love lately.  Its a fearful time and a walking on eggshells time for a lot of people.  Which makes for a tense environment. 
Now I have not partaken in anything that I am aware of that would buy into any of these fears, but lots of people near and dear to me are/have. 
So works not a "warm and fuzzy" place to be.

I just wish that I could stay home, not answer to the calender, and enjoy life.  But without this job, or any job I would not have a roof over my head, clothes on my back, and food on my table.  The little bit that I can eat.......

So "Hi ho, Hi ho..... its off to work I go !! "


I hope we adopt soon !!! I am looking forward to some time off to bond with my baby !

3 weeks Post OP

Just an Update on my Surgery.  I am 3 weeks post OP and I am going back to work on Monday 6/11/2012

I am down 32.5 pounds which to me seems INSANE !!!
I don't feel like I look any different, but I do notice what they call NSV or non scale victories

My Jeans ( both pairs ) do not fit even when buttoned !! They fall down around my ankles, which is both good news and bad.  Good because YEAH I am losing weight.  Bad because I have no freaking Jeans and those were pretty new from Layne Bryant = 55.00 a pair.  Ah well, someone at AMVETS is going to be very happy. 

Also My wedding rings are loose

My bath towel wraps all the way around my body ( this is a big one for me )

So even though I don't "feel" any different, I know that changes are happening.  So Hopefully I can keep up the good work when I go back to work/school this weekend. 
I mean the devil in my head keeps telling me that NOTHING has ever worked for me, so why would this ?  But I have to say, I cant eat more than I can handle or I get sick, and I cant have the crap foods cause they don't appeal to me but also because they make me feel awful !!

So....... I guess its a wait and see process.
But so far so good !!

Nursery Is Done

I know its been like 2 weeks since I have posted, but that's because I have been enjoying this recovery thing !!

Ok, really I have still had a lot on my plate.

Dans Grandma is moving between really sick and really well everyday, its very hard on us.
So I have daily trips to the Hospital.  I also had a lot of school work to do while I was off these 3 weeks since I have school this weekend !
I had a 2 page paper to write ( extra credit since I BOMBED my midterm) and then a Power Point Presentation for class on Sunday and a FINAL to study for, also on Sunday !!

On a positive note the NURSERY is finished !!!
Our home study is done !! Dan and I are waiting to be matched to a birth mom !
So now we wait, and I am ok with that, we have had a great 2012 so far, so now a little slow down and wait will be good for us. 

Here are some pics !!